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    詩歌散文 > 文章閱讀 > 情感文章 > 故土灣溝記

    故土灣溝記

    作者: 楊賢博2018年03月19日來源: 商洛日報情感文章

    1

    記憶中,我爺是一個會折騰、也能折騰的人。年輕時從灣溝來牧護關做長工,買了姓南的地,落戶到了秦茂。他改變了生存環境,也改變了自己的人生軌跡。在一個人生地不熟的地域上,像大樹扎根般成家立業,娶了我奶奶,養育了七個兒女。試想,如果我爺不從灣溝跑到牧護關打長工,就不會娶了我奶為妻,不會有我父輩一大家子,當然,更不會有我了。在養育我的這片土地上,是德高望重的人。我爺年輕時,在鎮子上擺過攤、賣過老紅糖、賣過點心,有個老字號的商鋪,是遠近聞名的大廚;年長后,村子紅白喜事必請至上座的人。據說藍關古道藍橋處當年國民黨一將軍“曹大漢”給他父親過80大壽時,提前個把月接他去當執事的人。小時候時常聽老人提及我爺,多是贊譽的聲音。

    46年前,也就是1971年的正月,我爺去世了。那年四月,我來到了世上。雖未曾見過,卻時常聽人談及關于我爺的往事,而我的身上,似乎也有了我爺的秉性。和我爺一樣,我也喜歡折騰,加之那些年家里貧窮,貧窮讓人立志,想辦法努力掙錢,改變貧窮的面貌。從秦茂遷到街道,從山里搬到山外,不斷折騰,不斷改變著生存環境。對我爺的記憶,除了別人口中的往事,就是擺放在堂屋的遺像了——一尺多長的白胡須,大辮子,穿著黑色長袍,個子高大,很有氣勢也很嚴肅,威嚴的注視著相框外的世界。小的時候看到照片總是怯怯的,長大后則成了敬畏。

    灣溝,是秦嶺深山中的一個村子,屬于長江流域,也是丹江源頭的一個支流。溝深約十公里,半溝有一塊山石突出,道路變得狹窄,以此為界,一半屬于行政區域下的鐵爐子鄉,一半屬于黑龍口鎮。十年前體制改革,鐵爐子鄉撤了,合并到黑龍口。三年前,黑龍口合并了牧護關鄉,又統稱“牧護關鎮”。如三國中說“合久必分,分久必合”,成為了歷史的必然。人類在不斷地折騰著,尋找著有利于生存發展的環境,改變著生存狀態,也譜寫著歷史,所有的發生都是歷史。

    彎來彎去的一條溝,從溝口到溝垴,中間有條常年不枯的河流蜿蜒著,順著崎嶇的山路相依流淌。河邊有數不清的柿子樹,樹冠繁茂,樹身滄桑粗壯。有幾棵高大的核桃樹,三四個人伸著胳膊才能摟住,樹很高大,仰望樹冠,幾乎與天相吻。以前只能拉架子車的通村路,現在拓寬了不少,能行駛機動車,卻沒有硬化,兩邊長滿了草。溝里土木結構的民房均靠坡而建,房前屋后,必有樹木茂盛生長,丟棄的石磨石碾長滿苔蘚,沉睡在屋外不起眼的角落。這些石磨石碾曾是生活不可缺少的工具,而現在已經退出了歷史的舞臺,被逐漸遺忘掉。村子里電網已經改造,圓滑的水泥桿上架設著絕緣電線一直通往溝頂最后一戶人家。

    溝是斜坡向上,形成了梯田狀,當年砌壘的一臺階一臺階的土地,耕種了玉米和洋芋。夕陽下,蒙著地膜的玉米泛著五彩的光,株距與行距形成了整齊圖案,構成了一幅美麗鄉村圖。這是至今很難見到的仍保持著原生態、原布局的村莊,人們安靜地耕種著農田,房屋依然土木構建,沒有隨處亂建的磚房或小洋樓,雖然年輕人也有不少走了出去,但村路上、屋檐下、河渠邊,總有三三兩兩的老者,在聊著天,做著家務,繡著鞋底。不時還能看見耕種者在田地里的身影……

    這個溝里,幾乎全是姓劉和姓楊兩大姓。遇見了本家一位老者,坐在門口抽著旱煙,論輩分我叫他爺爺。他不認識我,提及父親名字,他馬上親切起來。老人把屁股下的凳子讓給我坐,自己圪蹴在門口臺階上。他比我父親小十歲,多年前我們來溝里上墳,總嘟囔著要給我們做飯,也多次在他家里喝水。他屋外上上下下有幾處墳地,老人一直守護著,每年清明去燒上幾張紙祭奠先輩。聊了許多陳年往事,起身走時,突然地想起車子后備箱有一條煙,取出來送給他,他堅決不要,我硬是塞進他懷里。

    2

    有住戶,當然有墳墓,人類在不斷繁衍。

    記憶中,我去祭拜過16棺墳,以叔父的講述都是我祖先的墳墓。那時候,每逢清明都要過“清明會”的,那時候缺吃,饑餓是常事,“清明會”是春節后唯一一次能改善伙食的日子。父輩四家每年輪流招待家族所有人“吃席”,每戶安排人去灣溝上墳,早起吃飯后,步行一天,翻秦嶺,下到溝底,到了灣溝口,從溝口走到溝垴上墳,沿途有很多墳。在墳頭壓幾張火紙,插三支香,在雜草與枝頭掛上紅黃綠白紙剪的兩指寬、尺五長的紙溜兒,搬幾塊石頭砌壘墳頭,鏟幾鐵锨土“全墳”,跪拜在墳頭前點燃一沓子火紙,磕頭作揖,算是禮畢。叔父會站在身邊,給我們講墳墓的主人,以及鄰墳之間的關系。一條溝跑完,上完16棺墳,已經是下午三點左右,腿酸、肚子饑。再原路返回,飯菜已經準備好,桌子也擺好了,男女老少等著我們回來開席。每每上墳回來,總有一種干了大事凱旋而歸的榮耀感,喜悅地講述著一路的所見所聞,大口吃喝。后來,大伯大娘、三叔三嬸、小嬸我媽以及我的啞巴堂哥相繼去世,埋葬在了屋子后邊山坡下我爺我奶的老墳旁,“清明會”也沒有繼承下去。再后來上墳的人就少了,年邁的父輩走不動,年輕的堂哥兄弟外出謀生,年幼的侄子上學,去灣溝祭祖成了一件不易落實的事情。有一年也是我和叔父一塊兒在清明去了灣溝,把祖輩們每座墳墓的土用準備好的十多個布袋兒一一裝好背回,安置在老墳旁,立了碑子,撰寫了碑文,建成了一座大的墳墓。算是解決了沒有人跑路的問題,也了結了父輩多年來一份心愿。

    從此后,幾乎沒有再來過灣溝。

    每次路過灣溝口的地方,總有一份無法言說的情感。我的人生沒有大的出息,且最大的缺點就是愛懷舊,記憶中的事隨著年齡的增長竟愈加清晰。也不止一次地告訴別人,這里曾經是我的故鄉我的根!對于我爺,更是多了一份感慨與自豪。幾年間,多次約堂兄、侄子、兒子想在春節或清明再去灣溝看看,追憶故土,緬懷先輩,延續一下我爺當年的那份精神,感受這里當年的生存狀況,感慨現在的優越與幸福,卻難以落實。社會讓生活變得匆忙,人越來越忙了,離故鄉也越來越遠了,別說一塊兒去灣溝走走,就是去屋后上墳的人每年也都在減少,原因是多方面的,能夠體諒,也就多一份包容與理解。生活在繼續,我已是年近半百的人了,一切正常的不正常的,都是生活的必然……

    時常覺得自己已經變成了“閑人”,無聊的時候,總會有太多情緒,而這些情緒促使我有一些超常的行為。這不,在這個無聊的下午,突然地想走一趟灣溝,也就來了。

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