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    詩歌散文 > 散文精選 > 情感散文 > 伯牙山下憶故友

    伯牙山下憶故友

    作者: 直子2018年03月21日來源: 商洛日報情感散文

    石窖是伯牙山下的一個村莊。存虎在石窖村辦了個養蜂場,他給我說想弄成商洛最大的蜜蜂產業化企業,甚至把產品初加工的樣品都搞出來了,誰知老天不仁,他竟然在我還沒有感知到任何征兆時,忽然就撒手離去。

    得知他要去西安住院做手術,我正在外地學習,便給他媳婦發了紅包,也算是我的一片心意,誰知他卻永遠離開了這個世界。連最后告別儀式我也沒跟上,心里是無盡的惆悵。

    從少年時候的商洛農校上學時起,我們相處已經有20多年了。多年來,不管在哪里工作,隔段時間總要見面,美美的聊一次。談人生的困惑和苦惱,談生活中的是是非非和恩恩怨怨。我進城比他早,曾經多次努力給相關領導推薦他,想幫調回城,但他始終不愿走動一下,幾次機會都錯過了。

    因為小時家里窮,畢業參加工作后,他便始終折騰個不停。販過藥材,辦過食用菌場,開過幼兒園,包過房屋粉刷活。還異想天開的從北京買回了望遠鏡,想采取收費用的辦法,讓小娃們看天文看宇宙。一年一年沒消停過,卻沒有賺到錢。便不時傳出兩口子鬧別扭的事。我見了他,老忘不了說他幾句,他也是嘿嘿一笑了之。

    這幾年,夫妻兩個把生意日益做大了,也讓大家刮目相看起來。我也到處給他唱贊歌。我本質是一個追求閑適生活散漫的人,就有些敬慕他這樣的不屈命運、奮斗不止的強者人生了。

    我們曾經計劃,從五十歲開始,過一個屬于自己的積極人生。去年臘月,我在他家一邊喝酒一邊說話,直至深夜三點多,還是他幫我才從他租住的家屬院柵欄門翻出來的。我們躊躇滿志地說:人到五十,人生的下半場才開始,精彩還在后邊呢!

    五十歲以前,人生多是受著脅迫過來的,受制于他人的時間太多,為金錢所累,為虛名所累,為應承負的養育子女、孝敬父母、節濟親人等等諸多責任所累。后半生,才應該是為了追求理想而活著。他信誓旦旦對我說:攢夠了錢,還要回歸到文學上,還要幫我出留給后人的著作呢!

    存虎出事后,我的想法忽然就改變了。就覺得這人世間,諸多事情都是過眼煙云,一切得順其自然。

    有句話叫:人算不如天算。只可惜,不知這老天爺是怎能給我們設計人生的?對于許多的思想家來說,終其一生,也不過是在揣摩上天的意圖罷了。而卻為何常常作弄善良的人們啊?

    存虎生前的前一年,經常和我、善平在一起,經天緯地暢談人生,謀劃做大企業的事。雖然我經常因為血壓原因,對喝酒推三阻四,但酒桌上逢他兩個,常常是爛醉如泥。存虎住院后,我方知他本身肝臟有問題,是絕對不能喝酒的,就有些懊悔自己過去的行為,也恨他為啥要給我們隱瞞呢?

    存虎在學生時代是風云人物,曾經組織成立了包括市內幾所中專學校和商洛師專的一個學生組織。本身是一個文學交友平臺,卻因為大家都懂的原因,工作多年來,卻一直連個副科級都沒有解決。我是深知他的,這是一個心性極強的人。我只能說,他是生不逢時罷了。

    也許正是仕途的不得志,使他想以另外的方式,來體現他的存在價值。他在忙于工作之余,領辦了一家公司,并做得風生水起,所開發的“棣花三珍”產品都上了西洽會的展臺。整天是在風風火火的忙碌著,跑市場,跑項目,搞融資,研發新產品。

    存虎住院期間,一場募捐活動在網上和他生活的丹鳳縣城展開了,以至于官方的好幾個單位也發出倡議,組織職工為其捐款。可惜的是,生命是任何東西也換不來的,誰也改變不了人類的這種悲劇命運。他帶著未竟的事業,帶著關注他的人們的遺憾,帶著妻兒老小的傷疼,永遠的走了。

    存虎活著時,曾經幾次和我在一起謀劃企業發展的方向,還說想聘請我當宣傳顧問,好好干一番事業。我們還約定啥時組織幾個媒體朋友到石窖的蜂場看看。

    而今,我的來到,已物是人非了,早已沒有想象中的花開蜂舞的景象了。幾個工作人員只是在苦等著,誰來給他發下一個月的工資呢?

    存虎走后,我曾計劃專門寫篇悼念文章,卻又覺得這是一塊傷疤,還沒愈合,咋忍心又去撕開啊?存虎的蜂場有善平投放的鵝,過去是用來看場子用的,現在誰來料理這個蜂場,已是一個問題,善平便先將其領走了。

    我們幾個氣喘吁吁的把鵝籠抬到半山腰,善平指著遠處的荒蕪著的臺田說:存虎把這些地都租了,計劃這里開發后搞農家樂呢!我當時心酸得很,有想哭的感覺。

    存虎和我都有個心病,老覺得孩子不爭氣,沒有考上好大學。他累死累活也許就是想給娃多創造些成功的條件。我想他最后一刻,絕對還是放不下心他那個唯一的兒子。

    而由于他的離去,我轉念就覺得是多么的不必,普天下人最為牽掛的是自己的子女,豈知兒孫自有兒孫福,終其一生,往往都是操閑心。我們捫心自問,有幾人的人生路是按父母設計走過來的?

    面對云遮霧罩的伯牙山,我想起了伯牙摔琴的故事。昔日俞伯牙因為在此不見好友鐘子期,恨世間從此再無知音,在子期墳前憤而摔琴,“高山流水”也成了他的絕唱。

    我只想對存虎說:你一路走好!你是一個好人,也許你真的生不逢時,那么在另外一個世界,你就安心吧!

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